Butterfly pornographer and podiatrist, Gusipe Gallows was arrested yesterday in Santa Cruz after it was found that the lepidopterist had pictures of naked monarchs in his collection. The pictures of the naked monarchs were taken of the little slugs in the pupa stage, which, by all standards, would make them princes and possible airs to the British throne.
Pornography of monarchs has been outlawed since the15th century after a long succession of Edwards and Henrys parading around in their Gothic doublets and hose
spreading their wings for all the world to see.
There was also a 15th century king by the name of Filbertamous the Panderer who seemed to set the standard for monarch pornography at the time commissioning paintings by Botticelli, known for his nude penis, no, that's Venus, of all the English actors including cross-dressers and adolescent boys who played with the parts of ladies in English theatre. No, that's played the parts of ladies.
Gallows, known for his creative photography, has actually shot photos while riding on the backs of monarchs while they were having sexual intercourse.
The mating ritual of the monarchs, as dysfunctional as it is, has a certain undeniable poetry to it writes Mary Spicuzza in her online article, "A Wing And A Prayer" and might surprise some in its romance.
Literally, the reining monarch will obtain a potion from a witch that when uncorked produces a vapor that causes whoever senses it to fall in love with him sort of like Lysander falling in love with Helena in Mid-Summer's Night's Dream. The monarch must then catch the fallen queen before she hits the ground.
After she awakes, the monarch must be up for fighting off her stugggle, so that he can seduce her. During seduction, he "strokes his chosen one with his knobbed antennas, lays his head next to hers, and as soon as she's sedated, he flips her over for a reproductive interlude. Eventually, they may die together in a milk-weed patch."
The trial for butterfly pornographer and podiatrist, Gusipe Gallows is pending.
In other news today, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled jalapeno peppers. A peck of pickled jalapeno peppers did Peter Piper pick. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled jalapeno peppers, then where's the peck of pickled jalapeno peppers that Peter Piper picked?