Earlier today, former Conservative Prime Minister Harold Macmillan was found to be living in a nursing home near Eastbourne. Known to everyone at the home simply as 'Fred', he was transferred there after staying in hospital back in the 1980's. Another patient, Fredrick Macmillan died, and the two became mixed up by the staff.
Fredrick was buried in style at the Macmillan family grave at St.Giles Church, Horsted Keynes, and his funeral was attended by Margaret Thatcher and four former UK Prime Ministers. He will now be exhumed and probably cremated following a full enquiry.
Tony Blair made an immediate statement blaming the general decay of the 1980's Health Service firmly on the Thatcher administration. Conservative leader David Cameron countered, blaming Labour for not investing more money in nursing homes and demanding to know why the matter wasn't discovered earlier. For the Liberal Democrats Menzies Campbell said that it clearly showed that both parties were out of touch with the people and that only electoral reform could deliver a fully responsive Health Service.
Meanwhile 'Fred' who has lost all memory of his former life, says he just wants everyone to bugger off and leave him alone. He is now officially Britain's oldest man, aged 113 and attributes his long life to a healthy diet and the sea air at Eastbourne.