Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 7 March 2007

image for 13-year-old Boy Jailed For Robbery & Assault In Legal Wrangling Mess
The Judge handed out a 'stiffy'...

A 13-year-old boy who violently assaulted and robbed a 14-year-old classmate, has been given an 8-year jail sentence at the Old Bailey.

The 13-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, stopped the 14-year-old, who also cannot be named for legal reasons, at their school in N*rth Lond*n, stole his dinner money, and repeatedly hit him over the head with a balsa wood ruler.

The boys' Geography teacher, who cannot be named for Educational reasons, intervened, and called the assailant's mother, who cannot be named for 3 legal reasons, 2 parental reasons and a legal wrangle.

An ambulance was called to take the injured boy to a hospital that cannot be named for MRSA-related viral reasons.

When Police arrived, they arrested the 13-year-old, and levelled charges that cannot be named for 'trumped-up' reasons.

Yesterday though, the Old Bailey Judge, who cannot be named for judicial reasons, cut through all the legal restrictions, and handed the youth the maximum sentence available to him for hitting someone on the head with a ruler, 8 years.

Our Court reporter, who can't be named due to reporting restrictions, blah, blah, blah...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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