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Wednesday, 7 March 2007

image for Danielle bedded David Beckham?
The white stuff

Shamed celebrity Big Brother diva Danielle Lloyd was today accused of having an affair with David Beckham. Only days after being given the boot by Teddy Sheringham, Danielle was reported to have been bedding the former England captain during the ill fated 2006 world cup campaign. Former manager Sven-Goran Eriksson said 'This puts me in a position difficult, because I have my own glass house to throw bricks at'

A source close to the Beckham family said 'We couldn't understand David's total lack of energy, but now the reason seems obvious'. Danielle, who has had several high profile modelling contracts cancelled after she told Indian beauty rival Shilpa Shetty to fuck off home, has now joined the 'Daily Star' newspaper providing readers with a regular diet of soft porn images.

Fellow Big Brother contestant Jade Goody is said to have reacted to the news with typical candour by commenting - 'I'll bet she drained 'is bollocks for 'im, I'm sure I would 'ave'.

Meanwhile Victoria Beckham is doing her best to keep face. In interviews with Hello! OK! and Heat Magazine she insisted on keeping a low profile, and as always stressed the importance of marriage and family values. A spokeman said 'David and Victoria are a team and nobody can come between them'. However later that day she was reported to have left the offices of the divorce law specialists Grabbit and Runn.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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