Google MindReader, utilising the company's recently developed Cyberspace Thought Transference Protocol (CTTP) is the latest application to be offered by the internet search company.
You don't even have to sign up for it. It no sooner occurred to me at my desk this morning how much I needed a hangover cure than a Google Telepathy alert popped up and directed me to www.RUpissed.com.
Although essentially a wireless service and therefore safe to use in the bath, the Telepathic Marketing Association are offering an opt out scheme called the Mind Reading Preference Service. There's no number to call. They'll just know when you're not receptive to being annoyed at home.
Junk telepathy has already been reported being received in certain parts of London, notably Knightsbridge and Kensington, where the phenomenon is known as Spontaneous Psychic E Mail or SPEM. SUV manufacturers have been using it for some time with great success, as it is particularly well suited for targeting the brainless.