Written by politicalpop
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Topics: Labour

Monday, 5 March 2007

image for Cool New A&E Departments for Joy-Riding Kids
Recreational drivers who have mishaps will get whatever they want immediately

Health Minister, Caroline Flint, today announced plans to build a thousand super new Accident and Emergency departments in the UK to cope with the rising number of complaints that joy-riding children are so like traumatised by their A&E experiences.

The cool new joy-riders' A&E will include soft toys, calming colour schemes, subdued lighting, piped nursery rhymes, and lush padded floors and walls.

This follows the success of the popular joy-riders' A&E treatment area at Guy's and St Thomas'. Dr. Sienna Goodie:

"We have a separate waiting and treatment area for joy-riders, or recreational drivers as we prefer to call them. This is staffed by specially trained joy-rider's nurses and doctors who provide expert care to sick and injured joy-riders. It can be like so upsetting for joy-riders to wait in the adult areas of the department, where they may be exposed to difficult situations."

Tomorrow, Caroline Flint will announce changes to the Licensing Laws which will allow franchises to run cool new bars in popular adult A&E departments selling alcohol, which is so like, yummy.

Before Health, Caroline was Chair of the All Party Really Cool Childcare Group. She is keen to modernise anything that already works, such as Education & Employment, and the Armed Forces, in which she dabbled, fucked up, and got out of.

She was educated at Twickenham Girls' School, Richmond Tertiary College and University of East Anglia. She behaves as though she was brought up in a manse by a vicar and a doctor, and was so like not allowed to play with normal children which is really uncool.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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