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Monday, 5 March 2007

image for Charlotte Church pregnancy fear - Doctors say foetus refuses to be Welsh
Feck off! I'm not coming out!

Voice of an angel star, Charlotte Church and her rugby playing lover, Gavin Henson, were being comforted at home last night after it was revealed that their foetus was refusing to be born in Wales.

Doctor's confirmed that, during a routine scan, the unborn child had indicated through a series of clicks and gurgles, that it would not entertain the idea of being Welsh.

"Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon occurrence," Professor J Caringbunny, chief medical officer of Cardiff Hospital, told us last night. "These days foetuses can be quite discerning about who their parents are, where they live and what they are eventually going to look like. This is why parents who have ginger hair find it so hard to have children."

"Welsh children, unfortunately, are forced to endure jokes about sheep and inbreeding," continued Professor Caringbunny, "They are generally not as bright as normal children and they quite often smell of shit."

The Church family have called in 'gynacologist to the stars' Dr Graeme Garden (formerly of 'The Goodies') to set up a dialogue with the unborn child.

Since leaving the '70's comedy tro, Dr Garden has become the most distinguished celebrity fanny expert in Britain and has just released a new book chronicling his experiences called, 'Ringpieces of the Rich and Famous."

"My job here is very much that of a vagina whisperer," Dr Garden told us, "I will try and allay whatever fears the foetus has by quietly speaking to it up Charlotte's chuff."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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