Written by Mongrel
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Sunday, 4 March 2007

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Deer population out of control

Wolves have been reintroduced to the Scottish Highlands for the first time in over 150 years. The plan is intended to combat the unprecedented growth in the deer population, which has soared to over 300,000 in recent years. For centuries wolves used to be commonplace, however the last Scottish wolf was shot in around 1860. Now a pack of 30 have been released on a massive 1,000,000 acre estate neighbouring Balmoral.

A spokesman for the Scottish Wildlife Trust said 'Wolves have never been a major threat to man, and we don't expect more than ten or fifteen attacks per year. So long as people are sensible and don't just wander around willy-nilly things will be fine. It will be good for tourism too, and we need the bit more than the Loch Ness Monster to attract new visitors.

Parents at the nearby McAngus High School were less confident however. Already two wolves have been sighted sniffing around the school gates and licking their lips. Headteacher Ian Shootem said 'We are extremely concerned about the effect it may have on GCSE results. Some of our best students have to walk home, and if any of them are eaten it could be affect our league table position.

A spokesman for Dundee City Council was unavailable for comment, and later a source indicated that he had not been seen for several days.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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