The Druids have been "up to their old tricks," according to Cecil Liversidge, acting Primus pilus of the XII Legion of the Lower Trunion invasion of Britain re-enactment brotherhood.
The outburst follows the recent lunar eclipse and the discovery of 17 headless corpses adjacent to the Standing Stones known locally as the Devil's Ringpiece. Mr Liversidge and members of his Legion had been on duty in the vicinity of the Ringpiece earlier that evening.
'I blame the Met Office,' said Liversidge, 'they forecast cloud cover so we retired to the Four Alls for a couple of quiet ones and discussed tactics for next months re-eactment. It should be a good do, we get to slaughter 200 fold of Celts with minimal losses.'
The eclipse, which was observed by thousands, was reported to have passed over peacefully in the rest of the British Isles. Druid leader Alf Hackett said of the affair, 'why oh why whenever there's foul play afoot do the intelligentsia get fingered? It's not fair and I'll be holding council on what to do about that pious primus pilus Liversidge. Just wait 'til I see him in the Post Office.'
'Amen!' Retorted Liversidge, from the safety of the Legion's lean too situated on the Co-Op car park. 'I will not be intimidated by a bunch of chess playing sissies in black robes. They can cast all the spells they want; a fresh Legion from Humpton is on the march as we speak.'
The Devil's Ringpiece was being subject to a "finger tip search" search by police forensic officers. A spokesman described the scene as a childish prank that "went too far."