Written by Edward O'Neill
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Topics: Food, Bird Flu

Sunday, 4 March 2007

image for 'Roast a British Chicken Weekend' 3rd and 4th March 2007
Chicken: Eat It; It's Your Duty

British fowl farmers are, as you might imagine, feeling a little edgy with recent news of the H5N1 virus (bird flu) being found at a Bernard Matthew's processing plant in Holton, near Halesworth. To counter their fears, the farmers have come up with the 'Roast a British Chicken Weekend'.

www.greatbritishchicken.co.uk exhibits Sally Gunnell OBE endorsing the long and hallowed British tradition of Chicken Eating. As we are all aware, OBE stands for: Order of The British Empire. So, lets be clear about this: It is now patriotic to eat Chicken... well, it was at the weekend anyway.

Cynics are saying that a more honest name for this event might have been:

Oh- shit- this- bird flu- business- has- really- cocked- up our- chicken- industry- and- we- better- do- something- about- it- weekend.

Minister for the State of Public Health, Caroline Flint MP, today told TheSpoof: "If this doesn't work we are going to have to introduce compulsory chicken eating in schools and make vegetarianism a punishable crime".

Next weekend is, of course:

British Beef: It's Safe... Honestly... Weekend and there are plans for a: Foot and Mouth? It Never Really Happened day later in the year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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