Written by Findolphin
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Saturday, 3 March 2007

image for May I see your papers!?
Asking for ID is a good idea.

A call for calm has been issued by Mr. Lockett, the Lower Trunion neighbourhood watch co-ordinator. The plea follows a spate of false alarms regarding bogus callers.

'It transpires that a lady going about legitimate business as a mobile hairdresser caused most concern,' said Mr. Lockett, 'she was unfamiliar with the village and couldn't locate Twitch Lane. This provoked suspicion among residents after she was spotted in several locations scrutinizing properties.'

The alarm was raised and thirty Police officers attended the scene, which resulted in a scuffle and two people being arrested. As a consequence the choir is a baritone short and the some of our less sprightly residents will have to travel to town to get a hair-do. And as we know, that involves changing buses at Humpton.

So remember to demonstrate discretion before alerting the authorities. Below is a handy guide to help you.

  • Always ask bogus callers for an ID card. They either won't have one or it will be poorly fashioned.
  • Frequently do a practise run and ask a stranger to play the role of a bogus caller.
  • Occasionally ask a genuine caller for ID, but always accept "I left it in my spare uniform" as an excuse.
  • Never pretend a legitimate official is bogus and cause a fuss.

So remain alert but stay calm as none of us wants to be considered as the boy who cried wolf; though by the same token it would be nice to act as the Dutch boy and put a finger in a dyke once in a while.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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