Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 3 March 2007

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Workers are appalled by 'Work'.

A survey of a broad section of workplaces in the UK, to discover what people think about the use of bad language, has turned up some surprising results.

The investigation, ordered by Employment Minister Alan Johnson, found that, instead of the more obvious, all-too-oft-used four-letter expletives, the most offensive example of bad language was 'Work'.

A staggering 96% of those surveyed said they hated 'Work', many claiming that they felt unwell at the mere mention of it.

Another word which had the slackers in a sweat, was 'Toil', and more than half of those questioned said they didn't like 'Graft' either.

The only f-word amongst the list of responses was 'effort', which 47% said "angered" them, and then made them want to sleep.

The Government commissioned the survey in a bid to find out what the public really feel about swearing, in the wake of the Big Brother show, which exists "on a diet of filthy language, and would fail to attract viewers without it".

Sally Slacker, of Surveys-R-Us, said:

"Those interviewed had pretty much the same dislikes.
'Work' is really offensive to most people. The only words many people seemed to be able to stomach without becoming enraged were 'Sick', 'Sickie' and the less offensive c-word, 'Cash'".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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