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Wednesday, 28 February 2007

image for Virgin Crap-o-Copter Carries First Space Tourists
After a shaky start, journalists were too pissed to care

Sir Richard Branson, Virgin boss and the man responsible for Tubular Bells, yesterday unveiled the new space-age tilting Crap-o-Copter, taking journalists on the first cut-price charter flight into space. Manned by a robot, the space-age Crap-o-Copter has been rigorously converted for space travel by the team of experts who brought you the ground-breaking Sinclair C5 electric car.

Spoof Tourism and Travel nut job, Simon Colder: "This is the next big thing. You won't be able to buy a ticket for love nor money. When I lived in a council flat on two pounds forty a week, this was the lift I needed to stop myself feeling suicidal. Life is short, and death is infinite. Space is infinite too, and now infinity is within reach of ordinary people."

Flights to Mars calling at The Moon, Alpha Centauri, and Uranus will start next week from an unbelievable £1.10 return.

Spoof Science Correspondent, Dr. David Armstrong: "This is the chance to see things only witnessed by aliens, such as supernovas, red giants, and arriving home to see your own birth. It's great."

Unfortunately, the first new tilting Crap-o-Copter ran into the buffers when the wheels fell off, and journalists were forced to climb down using the onboard ladder. But, allowing for technical glitches, the new service will be profitable within weeks. The Health and Safety Inspectorate gave the Crap-o-Copter thumbs up for speculative investment by a dodgy bunch.

If you'd like to win free tickets for a trip into space on Virgin's new Crap-o-Copter, complete this important space-age personality test:

"Do you believe Noel Edmonds?"

"Did you buy an HD TV?"

"Are you a simple-minded moron?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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