Buckingham Palace - (Rioters): Dear Diary. The atmosphere in Buck House is decidedly frosty today after the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon advised Philip to put the week's tourist bookshop takings on Meryl Streep winning an Oscar for The Devil Where's Prada?
Including all the loose change from the footmen's swear-box as well as coins that passers-by throw in the Palace fountain the punt ended up costing slightly over five thousand pounds at odds of 7/1.
So bang goes that new polo pony for Harry, probably won't need one anyway now he's moving in to one of Saddam's palaces in Baghdad, just to try his hand at a little residential nepotism.
And no more emergency handouts to Kate Middleton when she rings up at one in the morning, saying can she and William have two hundred quid for a 'taxi home' when the bike courier arrives at Boujis with their usual packet of Friday night sherbert lemons.
But worst of all, Paul Burrel's birth mother now wants to come to tea to show off her Academy Award after that wrinkly portrayal of the Diana death fiction.
Expect she'll be asking for a Life Peerage next.
But wait a minute. That might not be such a bad idea. What's the going rate these days for a House of Lords bung? Somebody call Downing Street and ask if five grand should do it...