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Sunday, 25 February 2007

image for Mysterious mystery mystifies Ministry

Whitehall- Nick Pope, the Ministry of Defence's top paranormal and unexplained weirdness expert, earlier today stunned reporters with the details of his latest and many might say his strangest case yet.

Mr Pope, dressed in his regulation approved for TV government issue business suit, silenced the over excited press with slowly raised arms and then quietly began to tell his mysterious tale.
"As you are probably aware gentlemen I have recently been working on my most mysterious mystery ever. I'll begin by filling you in on the details and then I'll finish by sharing with you my findings on this most mysterious mystery that has mystified us here at the Ministry."

As the excited chatter of the assembled media faded into rapt attention Mr Pope cleared his throat, and quietly began "Early in 2004 strange and mysterious activity began to be reported by farmers and local people living around the USAF base Lakenheath. Witnesses have reported seeing huge white "plane" shaped objects, which were totally silent except for a strange hurricane like sound they emit constantly."

Mr Pope checked his prepared notes, gazed mysteriously around the room, and continued with his amazing tale "These objects were reported to have landed in or around the base and ghostly apparitions were said to have exited the mysterious craft."

Mr pope was at this point interrupted by a mystified newsman who asked him what these "creatures" looked like.

Mr Pope acknowledged him and stated "The mysterious beings were said to be around normal human height with strange silky hair flowing from their ghastly faces and were dressed in all in one close fitting orange "space suits" and most mysteriously of all they appeared to travel without the use of any kind of ocular assistance. Where one would expect to see their eyes there was only what some witnesses have described as a "blindfold".

As the buzz of excited chatter from the media died down Mr Pope went on to Reveal the results of his investigation into this most mysterious of mysteries "After months spent collating and carefully evaluating all available evidence; I have come to the only explaination possible in a case of such enigmatic dimensions. I believe these mysterious events to be so mysterious and strange that they defy attempts at rational explanation; so I believe we should just all forget about it."
With this shock announcement Mr Pope gathered his papers and unobtrusively left the shocked room.

So it looks as though, for now, the mysterious mystery that mystified the Ministry will continue to mystify a curious world.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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