Prime Minister Fony Bliar today announced plans for an immediate withdrawal of British troops from Iraq, as stupidly-named Operation Sinbad began a winding-down.
"Iraq is entering a new chapter in its history" he said poetically. "The story is getting too frightening and we don't want to be in it anymore."
The first of the 7100 serving soldiers will be coming home next week for a 14-day break before being whisked off again to the warmer climate of Afghanistan, which is lovely this time of year.
They will be joined by more than 200,000 men and women who have been signing on the unemployment register in England and Wales for at least twelve months.
They can look forward to sun, sand, no sea and possible death at the hands of the Taleban, who are nasty, smelly men in dirty robes. They rarely, if ever, wash, and only a tiny minority wipe their backsides after visiting the toilet.
British forces Commander in Afghanistan, General Sir Peter Fotheringham-Warmonger, said "The extra men will come in handy, especially those untrained new recruits. We are exceedingly short of cannon fodder."
Mr Bliar said "We value every soldier wherever they serve. Except, of course, for the unemployed. So long as I don't get Prince Harry killed, I should be fine."