Worried staff found the Queen in bed with Osama Bin Laden this morning. While serving her morning Earl Grey, Her Majesty was heard to tell Bin Laden in between moans "No wonder you are the most wanted man in the world"
The news comes just days after Prince Phillip was seen in a strip club dancing around a pole in a g-string.
It's generally seen as the slow and painful degradation of the Royals, with Charles being chased by hounds, Camilla appearing in sandwiches after a misunderstanding with a cannibal tribe, and William moving from Clarence House to a small empty crisp packet in Peckham.
Harry is seen to be the luckiest of all the Royals, heading off to Iraq for what he hopes is a merciful release.