Police are looking for a Dalek in connection with a bungled post office raid that 'went down' in Peckham earlier today.
The robbery took place in the High Rd and shoppers were said to be traumatised by the event. Have-a-go-hero, Bert Biffo takes up the story:
"I was in gettin' me pension and I was going on to the butchers to get a nice sirloin for me tea and that. Well blow me, next fing like, in trundles this robot matey and it goes up to the counter.
Then it says to the girl, put-the-money-in-the-bag-and-nobody-will-get-hurt, sort of all mechanical. Well I weren't having that I'm a Desert Rat. So I goes up to it and it says exterminate-exterminate so we had a bit of a set-to and I broke its arm off and it's scarpered"
Mayor of Peckham, Bruce Forsyth, told The Spoof:
"Bert's a real trooper and I wish there were more like him. He will be guest of honour at a gala lunch next week when we will also be awarding him a good citizen medal"
Detective Constable Jim Kirk of Peckham CID comments:
"If members of the public spot the dalek we suggest that they keep well clear. He's wounded and by now most probably desperate. The safest course of action is to call Peckham CID and let us deal with it"