Written by Chuck Terzella
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Topics: Mothers, accident

Wednesday, 31 December 2003

In a bizarre veterinary accident, Princess Anne has been put down instead of her Bull Terrier, Florence. The Princess Royal had decided to kill her beloved pet after the dog had first torn apart one of her mothers Corgis then bit one of the maids at the Queen's Sandingham Estate. However, Royal Veterinarian Haggis McCloud accidentally injected Anne with a lethal dose of Phenobarbital instead of Florence.

"It was an honest mistake," moaned Dr. McCloud, "a bull terrier is a stocky breed of dog with powerful jaws and the Princess is...well..."

While the Royal Family has officially stated the death of Princess Anne was a tragic accident, insiders are hinting at something darker. Queen Elizabeth has been quoted by an anonymous source (Harold ‘Stinky' Wegman) as saying once after a bit too much port, "No one kills ones dogs without severe repercussions. Kill the Bitch."

Insiders are at a loss in trying to determine which Royal this particular maid was sleeping with or whether she has signed any tell all book deals previous to the biting incident.

It should be remembered that Anne in November of 2002 was the first British Royal to be convicted of a criminal offence in 350 years after she failed to stop another of her dogs, Dottie from biting two children. At this time it is unclear which of the Royal Family the two children were sleeping with or whether they have signed any tell all book deals previous to the biting incident.

Funeral arrangements have yet to be determined, but interment has been scheduled at the Happy Dale Pet Cemetery in Yorkshire.

Approved by Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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