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Topics: Bird Flu

Tuesday, 20 February 2007

image for Bernard Matthews Lays Off Workers
Looking forward to a good Christmas: Bernard Matthews Flock celebrating with a twizzel

It has been reported today that Bernard Matthews, Turkey Tycoon and the name now synonymous with 'Bird Flu' has decided to lay off his workers.

Mr Matthews , who has been pestering for a peerage by sending regular consignments of 'Turkey Drummers' to Downing Street has allegedly been giving his employees a very hard time. A spokesperson for the workers told The Spoof today;

"Mr Bernard 'as bin gettin' on to us 'bout how we has leaked the information about his illegal landfill site out the back of the slaughter shed...but we didn't, see. I reckon he realises that and has decided to lay off us for a bit".

Bernard Matthews was in good spirits today, and was able to disperse the dozens of news reporters and photographers by bringing out a plate of Turkey Kiev's as well as his delicious Turkey Twizzlers.....Bootiful.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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