Written by Breeze
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Topics: Women, University

Friday, 16 February 2007

image for Government report reveals that women who go to university 'loose the ability to cook and clean'
A woman pretending to read yesterday

A new report today revealed what many of us had suspected for years, that womens' natural and inate ability to hoover, dust, cook and clean is being eroded away by over-education.

Two hundred female students were interviewed by the Government think-tank and the results were shocking to say the least.


75% of those interviewed admitted they did not know where the hoover was kept.

67% confessed to eating fast food or TV dinners instead of making a proper dinner for their boyfriends

88% told us that they would rather watch Eastenders than dust.


Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has announced that if this trend continues, he will be forced to ban women from further education.

"This situation cannot be allowed to continue," he told Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, "The rot began to set in when women got the vote, now things have reached a stage where, not only do women not clean and cook properly but they also answer back. If Cherie tried that shit with me, I'd knock her fuckin' bandy."

Conserative leader, David Cameron, agreed and said, "Booshakka! Big it up for the Tory massive, Ayaaii. Me Julie she do the cookin' fool, she hoova like a groova, Ayaii."

Professor J Caringbunny of Oxbridge University, told us, "At first we let women in as a bit of a laugh but now they are beginning to seriously consider academia as a career choice. It's gone too far, if my Missus come out with any guff like that I'd have to give her a slap."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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