The Guardian says:"Sir Michael Wood, the chief legal adviser to the Foreign Office, said that it was not in itself illegal to receive or possess information extracted under torture, if there was no direct participation in torture".
Wood who is also has England's greatest collection of Medieval torture devices gave his interview to The Spoof from inside the Iron Maiden.
The Spoof's Markie the Moustachioed Marvel conducted the questioning.
MMM: Sir Michael, is it true the British government had nothing to do with a thousand plus CIA flights to suspected secret prisons?
SMW: Let me out of here you bloody wanker!
MMM: (tightening the device) Sorry, didn't hear your answer...Let's try another question.Did Bush and Blair conspire to falsify evidence of WMD's in Iraq to get the war they wanted so desperately?
SMW: You are torturing me! let me out!
MMM: The acoustics in here are pitiful! Please,Sir Michael, try to speak up (another crank on the tightening lever)
SMW: Okay, Okay...BP gassed up every bloody one of those CIA transport planes packed with opoor devils on their way to the secret torture chambers...Enough!?
MMM: (another turn of the screw) And the WMD's? Please Sir M?
SMW: Please stop! (the lever creaked out one final turn) Oh! GGGGodddd! Yes ,I wrote the lies myself under direct orders from Blair-Bush Project...Now will the torture end?!
MMM released Sir Michael and the Minister reminded Markie that direct participation in torture invalidated the information.
MMM replied: It wasn't direct I had a glove on with which he firmly slapped Wood in the face.