Breeze, the self-styled top writer on the online satirical newspaper The Spoof, has today told the world about his secret sorrow concerning his insipid testicles.
A source at the paper, well Mark Lowton actually, has leaked the contents of a private memo the writer sent to his fellow scribes. A clearly upset Breeze confided in this writer and long-time colleague. Speaking from his Belfast Manor House he said:
"It's a terrible business that my ballicks will now be held up for the world to see. It's a right fuckin' liberty Duff me old mate! A right fuckin' liberty.
What's happened to the ethos of strict confidentiality round here? Nothing's sacred any more. Certainly not my clackers any way!"
Matt 'Crusty' Morgan, who in recent days has seen his star decline after a very meteoric and some say suspicious rise to stardom, was said to be devastated by the news and Monkey Woods was laying low
It remains to be seen if Breeze can overcome this problem and we all hope to see him back at his desk churning out the usual drivel as soon as possible