Perma-tanned wide boy, Robert Kilroy-Silk, has made astonishing claims today, suggesting that the mirrors in some clothes stores are of the distorting kind; designed to make people appear thinner when trying on potential new purchases.
Silk, no stranger to controversy, is for ever coming out with bonkers ideas since he sensationally quit his hit TV talk show a few years ago. He told The Spoof:
"It's true I tell you! All true! They're all trying to get us! Worrrahahaha!"
As proof, Silk claims that his wife bought a cocktail dress that made her look like Kate Moss in the shop but upon catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror at the function, she had turned into a right bloater.
His close friend, David Icke, commented:
"The Earth was once ruled by a race of super-reptiles! It's true I tell you! All true! I'm not mad! Worrrahahaha!"
The Spoof understands that Silk and Icke are intending to field reptilian candidates at the next general election and if they win a majority Icke is expected to bag the coveted job of Chancellor with Silk becoming PM.