Clarence House - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Camilla is to undergo a routine sex change operation in March which is being dubbed as a hysterectomy after the Pretender to the Throne ordered a news blackout on the subject.
Sources close to the Hellfire Club's Peahen Throne say that Camilla has waited nearly two years for a suitable donor to come forward with the right 'match' which will be grafted onto her in a transplant operation at the King Edward VII Hospital for Officers, Gentlemen and Male Organ Donors.
She will spend a couple of weeks in hospital recouperating but will resume her usual life shortly afterwards without any outwardly visible signs of a change, thus saving a small fortune of taxpayers' money that has been lavished during the last two years on her wardrobe.
"It's a secret Valentine's present from Charles to his consort", said an insider at Clarence House.
"It's what the old Queen Mother and General Pinochet would have wanted."