An in-depth investigation by The Spoof into the source of the Cameron drug taking shocker, has revealed that from an early age, Cameron was at the beck and call of one, Tony Blair, who kept him on a short leash, and encouraged him to move onto the sort of hard stuff he'd never experience within the old Tory party.
Cameron, who may pay dearly for flirting with the dangerous Blair, is fighting for political survival. His rival, on the other hand, is pissing his pants. We can reveal that in the early days, TB as he was known then, would leave his tag, a spray paint call sign, all over the corridors of power. We interviewed a snivelling penniless Tory smackhead who we found cowering in a corner of Westminster:
'In the early days it was all pretty soft core, bit of a laugh, you know. 'An then Tone started coming round wiv this heavy stuff he'd picked up in America, off this Bush man. He was messing wiv the wrong sort, man.'
We can reveal that Blair picked up his own pushing habit having been supplied by smack queen Margaret Thatcher for many years. She, in turn had been led astray by the sugar daddy of them all, Ronald Reagan.
If your MP seems to have a heavy cold, can't concentrate, and asks you for loans, contact The Spoof Drugs Hotline, where your call will be dealt with by recently beatified saints and a eunuch.