Written by Pointer
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Topics: Sex

Monday, 12 February 2007

image for St Viagra and St Valentine, Co-Patrons of Impotence
Lord F's mistress discovers what his droopy Drew can do

The revision of the Roman Catholic Liturgical Calendar has placed St Viagra and St Valentine on Feb 14. In a strange coincidence, non-prescription Viagra hits three high street pharmacies Wednesday despite or because of St Valentines Day, National Impotence Day and the recent release of sky-rocketing abortion rates among UK twenty-somethings.

Lord Flaccid of the British Drug Council commented to TheSpoof.com reporter, Stiff McGurk: "Listen,as the babyboomers age, it's getting harder and harder to rise to the occasion of Valentine's Day..."

McGurk teased :"You mean softer and softer, don't cha mate?!"

Lord F replied: "Yes, Stiff, that's why we need nonpresript "blue sex",we're tired of age-related blue balls...".

Asked by McGurk if he thought the Monsanto toxic chemical scandal may have something to do with the impotence phenomenon, Lord Flaccid seemed to become evasive: "I'll have to read more about the subject and check my stock portfolio before commenting..."

McGurk's final question was concerning the controversy about the rapid rise in the UK's abortion rate among women in their twenties. Lord F's Lady Eileen Toward-Flaccid took the question: "Of course there's a connection! These old codgers with their little missies! These gold-diggers never dreamt those droopy Drews could get 'em knocked up and now with the wonders of blue sex, every old bag in the UK could become a dad at 80! Gives new meaning to the old phrase "Blue Baby"!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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