Written by James Wallin
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Topics: Drugs, David Cameron

Sunday, 11 February 2007

image for Cameron hopes to be Britain's first pot-head PM
Tory Leader, David Cameron: "Sorted for E's and whizz"

Conservative leader David Cameron has pledged to bridge the gap of apathy between politicians and Britain's youth as the country's first spliff toking Prime Minister.

Cameron declared his ambition to wrest back control of the country from "the squares of New Labour" at the next election in a speech on Brighton beach, where Margaret Thatcher made her infamous "lady's not for turning" lesbian denial. He also cited the legacy of Winston Churchill, saying "We will smoke 'em on the beaches, we'll roll 'em on the sofa, we will get top score on Pro-Evolution Soccer. We will never, never run out of rizlas."

Some critics have questioned whether Britain is ready for an openly drug-addled Prime Minister. Cameron responded to these fears by calling for journalists to "chill out man, you're ruining my buzz."

The rest of Cameron's oration was mainly concerned with the merits of old kung-fu movies and "how beautiful hands are.... I mean, just look at mine", before the speech was curtailed due to the Tory leader's sudden desire for "crisps and stuff".

Commentators are predicting that Cameron's announcement will make the next election a gripping one, where he will almost certainly be pitted against Gordon Brown, who hopes to be Britain's first prime minister made entirely of fudge.

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