London - Big Ben, more popularly known as St. Stephen's Tower, was formally charged today with Domestic Assault against the Atomic Clock. Big Ben's attorney has claimed that the Atomic Clock was "asking for it" by repeatedly reminding the Great Clock of Westminster how it had rung in the New Year 10 minutes late back in 1962 due to heavy snow. However the BBC Radio 4 microphone placed in the world's largest four-faced chiming clock records quite a different scenario:
Big Ben: "You've overcooked the eggs again haven't you. How many times do I have to tell you, I like my eggs a bit runny!! How am I supposed to sop up my eggs with my toast if the damn things are cooked to such a hard consistency?!"
Atomic Clock: "Excuse me but when one asks for a three minute egg I deliver it at 3 minutes exactly, to the millionth of a second. I know you are all full of yourself about how precise you are but maybe you need to take a penny off your pendulum you inaccurate old fart!"
Big Ben: "Umm, well, uh..."
Atomic Clock: "And I'm also getting more than a bit tired of the metal fatigue excuse when it comes time for you to perform in the bedroom, if you know what I mean."
At this point on the recording several loud assault type noises are heard.
Big Ben has posted bail but the custody of Little Ben is still in question.