Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has despite strenuous efforts to remain aloof, been dragged unceremoniously into the "Cash for vaginas" scandal that is rocking satirical organ, The Spoof.
After stout denials of involvement from, suspiciously top rated contributor, Matt 'Crusty' Morgan yesterday, it became apparent that there was third mystery figure webbed up in the affair.
This writer, who was initially implicated in the business but who has since emerged without so much as a blemish on his character, strongly suspects fellow writer Breeze to be behind the scandal.
Breeze, a frequent visitor to No.10, is known to have the ear of the prime Minister and it's now time to come clean on the matter. He told us:
"I do have Tony's ear and he has promised me his toenail cuttings next time he has a pedicure. He did mention vaginas to me once but that was it"
The scandal rumbles on and it has now become a matter of vital importance for the safety of the nation that we identify those responsible and put them behind bars where they belong.
The Lowton brothers declined to comment on the whole unsavoury affair.