Garda Chief, Paddy-Joe O'Donnell, has admitted to 'The Spoof' that they are losing the war against 'craic'.
The number of reported junkies has now reached epidemic proportions in Dublin and Mr O'Donnell believes it is only a matter of time before his police force are completely overwhelmed.
"In recent years, the number of 'craic' houses has risen from 2 in 1996 to almost 560 in 2006. That is a growth of......um........no, wait a minute I can get this.......ummm........well, it's a lot."
Walking in the city at night, the signs of 'craic' usage are everywhere, from youths lurking in street corners telling jokes to the sounds of raucous laughter emanating from dimly lit pubs and cafes.
"This is a problem that will not go away," said Irish Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, last night, "The re-development and nationwide, feel good factor prevalent in Ireland since the late '90's must be stopped. We need to have a government like that run by Tony Blair, in order to squeeze the joy and delight out of people, so we can go back to being miserable bastards again."