Sex shop chain, Anne Summers, has today decided to do something about its carbon footprint and is introducing biodegradable merchandise for the first time.
Spokesman Simon Sleazy told us:
"Until now we have been having many of our lines manufactured in China and other Far East countries and flying them in to the UK for distribution. In today's eco-aware environment that simply isn't good enough so it's all change"
The Spoof understands that Anne Summer's biggest seller, The Rampant Rabbit, will now be grown on selected farms in East Anglia and this move alone will allow Price Charles to go skiing with Camilla, Princes William, Harry and their birds too, if they all fancy it.
Tracey Trouble, a regular customer at Anne Summers Reading told us:
"Well at first I weren't too sure like 'cos this thing looked like a parsnip to tell the truth and there was nowhere to put the batteries. But after a while I got used to it and it's just as good as my old one.
The added bonus is that if you want to make a roast dinner with all the trimmings then parsnips is one thing less that you have to buy"