Genius Manchester United and Portugal footballer, Ronaldo Ronaldo, who received his second name after the old Ronaldo bestowed it upon him, has received a blessing from the pope...because he's that good.
Pope Benedict, who recently watched a game from his newly acquired Old Trafford executive box, said the boy is a wizard who can make his feet move so fast they're actually invisible. Ronaldo Ronaldo received his blessing from the pope moments before netting his seventh hat trick of the season, and he's still only eighteen.
Here at The Spoof, we have pictures of the boy wonder all round the offices. We cannot remember a footballer who we haven't loved more. He's just so brilliant, the way he dances round players, soars up to headers, does his whizzy stepovers, and all while maintaining an air of nonchalance that makes it look so easy. He truly is going to be the greatest football in the world ever.
Some of you may remember our touching story of the plight of little Michael Owen, who has had a long struggle against fitness. If so, please email The Spoof, and we'll pass your sentiments on to Michael.