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Friday, 2 February 2007

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Bill Bellows goes for it with disgraced racist Danielle Lloyd. "I near fuchhin' shit meself"

After weeks of competition the winner of the World's best hiccup scarer has been crowned.

Bill Bellows, from York, triumphed over a field of international competition, emerging champion with an impressive reading of 135db on his winning shout. He told us:

"I have been putting in the hours and I think this represents the icing on the cake in what, for me, has been a long period of sacrifice. My wife and family are practically all deaf and I've got permanent laryngitis as a result of my efforts"

In a surprise move disgraced racist Big Brother star, Danielle LLoyd, was brought in as the hiccupee and had to face an afternoon of scaring. The silver-tongued starlet commented:

"Aw yeah, ih was dead good likhh. All that shoutin' an all. When Bill did his championship-winning shouh I near fuchhin' shit meself likhh. He's dead good"

Bill has now some time off before his next competition and will spend his prize money of £35 on a new smoothie maker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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