Written by Breeze
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Topics: vagina

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

image for Jade Goody's vagina says 'I am not a racist but Jade is'
Jade's kebab is in hiding

The vagina of Jade Goody has spoken to journalists for the first time and has sensationally claimed, "I am not a racist but Jade is."

Miss Goodys' genitals spoke to a Spoof reporter from the Spainish villa she has been hiding out in, since being evicted from the Big Brother House in January.

The vagina claims not to have seen Jade since the eviction and said, "I don't care if I never see that bitch again. She has ruined my life and I don't think I can ever forgive her."

The resentment between the two former friends is all down to the racist row that exploded in the house with Bollywood star Shilpa Sheppy.

"I told Jade to calm down," wept an obviously distraught vagina, "But she wouldn't listen, she just went on and on at Shilpa. I knew how it would look to the public but when Jade loses her temper, she is a law onto herself."

The vagina is now keen to distance herself from Jade and has appeared on Spanish TV condemning her for her racist slurs and claiming that they were never that close.

"Jade and I were together for a while but it was never anything that serious," said Miss Vagina, "To be honest, I hardly know her."

Pig faced Nazi, Jade, however has denied her fanny's allegations and claimed that it was in, fact, her Vagina that made the infamous poppadom remark.

"I neva said nuffink abhaat Shlurpy bein' a popadom nor nuffink," said Jade, from the Dagenham skip she now calls home, "It was my kebab. I was talkin' out my kebab at the time, innit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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