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Wednesday, 31 January 2007

image for Kids TV Shows Look Set For Strikes
"We're getting well pissed off with all this exploitation!" Mrs. Honeyman on the set of Camberwick Green yesterday

News is reaching us today of wild-cat strikes breaking out in the world of kiddie's TV. Postman Pat, the shop steward of the National Union of Kidshows , told us:

"We are fed up being taken for granted. Parents just sit their nippers down in front of our shows and get a break. Nobody thinks of us though and now with the advent of DVD we're on all the bloody time"

As an example Pat cites young Aubrey Cadwallader from Didcot, who is besotted with the Greendale Postie.

"That feckin' kid's mum put my 'best of compilation' on at 6.00am one day and he was still there at 6 in the evening! The little sod never turned me off once, despite him having three naps during the whole thing. Me, Jess and Mrs Goggins was bleedin' knackered by the end of it!"

And Bob the Builder commented:

"It's time we fought back! This is bloody exploitation and we're getting done over big style" before adding: "That's a nasty piece of damp you got there chief. I'll sort that out for a monkey if you like"

BBC top executives have threatened to mobilise Captain Snort and his soldier boys from Pippin Fort to break the strikes if necessary, and according to controller of Kids TV, "Fireman Sam can't be ruled out of the overall scenario"

Yesterday the cast of Chigley were booed as they crossed picket lines.

Both parties are digging in for what looks like is going to be a long and bitter dispute.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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