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Wednesday, 31 January 2007

image for Mayor Ken Livingstone Reads The Riot Act To Asian Restaurants
A pan for frying poppadums in one of the targeted restaurants

In a show of solidarity with Bollywood actress, Shilpa Shetty, Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, has demanded that all Asian restaurants 'clean up' the wording of their menus.

He told the Spoof in that newty voice of his:

"It's a bloomin' disgrace. Our inspectors went into 50 tandoori restaurants and in every single one the word 'poppodum' appeared on the menu; indeed on several occasions it appeared more than once.

The nation was, quite rightly in my view, up in arms when disgraced racist bully, Jade Goody, had the gall to say that word, so it's only fitting that all fifty premises have been served with immediate closure notices"

However Shamir O'Rourke, spokesman for the Indian Restaurant Association told us:

"This is political correctness gone mad. The word 'poppadum' in itself is in no way offensive. It was just the context that it was used in that was the problem.

Jack Arse, the estranged boyfriend of the racist bully Jade, commented:

"What does 'connex' mean? It's a railway or summink, ain't it? Has anybody seen my bird like? I ain't sin 'er since I got aht like"

Jade was said, by a source close to her, to be 'trying to rebuild her shattered career and that' and was hiding out in the £4000 a day Priory, in Mumbai.

The Spoof understands that if she wriggles out of this mess then Jade will adopt an Asian kiddie, just to prove she "Ain't no racist"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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