Written by Howard
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Topics: Prison

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

In a shock news conference this morning, the Prime Minister has revealed his latest plans to solve the prison crisis.

"It has become clear that it is just not financially viable to continue running prisons in the UK. So in the age of the Global Economy it is only sensible to follow the lead of many companies who have opened telephone call centres in India, and move our prison services overseas."

The government is looking into a range of options, a favourite being to send longterm prisoners to institutions in Siberia, while perpetrators of racially motivated crime may be sent to India, China or Zimbabwe.

Summing up his speech, the PM said that the added bonus of this scheme was the windfall that would come from selling off the old prisons to property developers. "Offers for the London prisons are already coming in and we are seeking to fast-track planning permission to convert these buildings into studio flats."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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