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Tuesday, 30 January 2007

image for Place Your Bets Mesdames Et M'sieurs
The new Super Casino roulette wheel will be the size of a kiddie's roundabout

It will be finally revealed today where Britain's first super-casino is to be located.

The new casino, that will be the size of a football pitch and be opened 24 hours a day, marks a significant milestone for Britain, as now people will allowed to waste their money in one big building instead of lots of smaller ones.

That lad off Breakfast news who does the money slot told us:

"This is very significant indeed. It makes a considerable difference if you bet on number 14 on the roulette wheel in a place the size of a football field. You stand a much better chance, statistically speaking, of either winning or losing"

And top spy James Bond comments:

"I think that this is wonderful news. Because it will attract lots of beautiful women and I'll be able to ogle them with my x-ray glasses"

But the final word must go to deranged nutter Black Jack:

"I got a system that can't fail. I'm gonna be minted! Minted I tell you!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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