Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 29 January 2007

image for "Jo's No Racist" - Pauline Fowler
No racism here

Celebrity Big Brother gender bender Joe von O'Mira is in the news again over her outrageous racism denials.

Joe, 64, said that she "ain't racist, never 'as bin and propaply nevva wiw be" during an interview with Grammarwatch magazine.

"Furvermore", she went on, "I ain't nevva bin to the races!"*

She has been surrounded by controversy recently. The Human Chimney was once married to Adolf Hitler, but the two separated after he became disillusioned by her extremism.
The crafty Cockney then hid in pop music for a while, appearing in S-Column 88, before retiring from that scene and setting up a dog sanctuary - for dogs and run by one.

Her former housemate, Cleo Rockers, 21/71 depending on whether or not she's wearing make-up, was asked why she remained close to Joe whilst they were in the BB House. Rockers, an old favourite in Kenny Everett's Titfest, pouted resolutely, and said "I voss jast following orders!"

On leaving the BB House on Friday, von O'Mira, dressed all in black and looking like a Nazi dominatrix, clicked her heels and gave the salute favoured by the NSDAP and extremely close-cropped 70s youths at Stamford Bridge and Upton Park.

She was immediately led away for questioning by police, and was later charged with impersonating a woman.

In another part of London, Pauline Fowler, played by Wendy Richard, said "I'll tell you one thing Martin. Joe might've killed me, but he's no racist."

* Full translation available at wwww.forkhandles.com

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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