London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Over six hundred missing serial sex offenders who disappeared from Home Office records have been found hiding behind the cabinet at Number 10 Drowning Street.
The shocking revelaton comes after cleaning staff finally managed to gain access into the PM's mop cupboard and utility closet where a number of obsolete items of government furniture are sometimes stored.
The shocking sight that greeted them was reminiscent of illegal Bosnian stowaways discovered on a Belgian-registered whelk-carrying pantechnicon that proved a tad too suspicious for Port of Dover sniffer dogs during the heatwave last July.
The convicted sex fiends were found snarling and growling behind a large credenza last used by former UK PM Lloyd George to store his whimsical collection of moustache-cleaning aparatus.
They have now been rounded up and sent to a holding facility described as an offshoot of Battersea Dogs Home kenneling department where they await re-release into the public domain because there are no more cells left in British prisons.
Home Secretary John Reid is apoplectic.