Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for Downing Street search warrant to target sewers
Hogging the manhole covers was an undercover operation of considerable complexity

London - (Rioters): Police investigating the cash-for-peerages scam have applied for a warrant to search Number Ten's secret cable complex which runs via the subterranean plumbing network installed by 19th century engineering genius Sir Joseph Bazalgette.

The move follows reports of a hidden electronic communications network that allowed all Prime Monster Tony Blair's IRA appointees to email each other without MI5 realising they had been mugged.

Police stumbled upon the secret matrix after inadvertantly bugging President George Bush's warrantless wiretap scheme which was targetting satirical internet sites that regularly lampoon him as a relapsed coke-snorting psyhcotic sex offender bastard paid by US organised crime to raid Middle Eastern crude deposits.

The warrant also covers the Pretender to the Throne's home Clarence House, the Prime Mobster's weekend hideaway Chequers, a highly classified GCHQ listening outpost located at 23 Sumner Gardens, Pimlico, London SW, the US Ambassador's official residency in Regent's Park Outer Circle and Paul McCartney's bird-twitching tree-hut in Sussex.

Also under investigation is a novel carrier-pigeon scheme first introduced former Home Secretary David Blunkett who distrusted modern technology and went to extraordinary lengths to baffle police detection attempts with myriad ingenious communication schemes.

Unfortunately unbeknown to him the Met's ruthless squad of deadly trained interceptor falcons soon put paid to his best laid plans and frequently tampered with the little billets doux that the Home Secretary relied upon to thwart Special Branch and Anti-Terrorism cops.

A similar scheme is said to have been utilised in busting Blair's Head of Friends and Relations Ruth Turner last week although not so many birds of prey were required as with Blunkett.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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