Written by Shanghaied
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Thursday, 25 January 2007

image for London Borough of Hackney Retains Britains most Wasteful Award
Hackney Mayor outlines his financial plan for 2007

London - Faceless, winging, scumbag, lazy ass, worthless, civil servant, cockroaches will raise a glass wine at the expense of the long suffering tax payers this evening as predictably the London Borough of Hackney retained its title as 'Britains most wasteful, corrupt, incompetent and useless local council'.

Hackney Mayor, the honourable Mr Tosser, said to waiting reporters upon receiving the prize 'Hackney have taken wastage to new levels. Any old useless Northern England council to pour tax payers money down the drain, la-di-da West London councils that throw money at quangos staffed by their friends are two a penny, but here in Hackney we have taken wastage, corruption and financial mismanagent to new levels.'

Whilst Hackney borough council are expected to easily walk away with the title of 'most worthless European local Authority of the year', competition for the 'Worlds worst local authority' is said to be hotting up. This evening, Mayor Tosser has appointed his brother's company to throw a huge open party at a cost of several million pounds to celebrate this first victory. The Party start at 7pm and will be held on Europa, the second largest of Jupiter?s moons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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