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Wednesday, 24 January 2007

image for Prescott/Vorderman Sex Tape May Lead to 'Prezzergasms'
Women could get horny over Prezzer

In an amazing scenario dreamed up by employment experts, Britain could be on the verge of complete meltdown should a Prezzer/Vorderman sex tape be accidentally released by John Prescott's Department of Trousers.

It has been suggested that if this sex tape was released, Britain's female workforce would stay at home and pleasure themselves silly, and employers would report a huge surge in female absenteeism. Retailers would also report a rise in sales of chocolates, and sex toys linked to the release of a steamy tape.

The infamous duvet day would be a thing of the past, and the Prezzer day would be here to stay.

Raising calls for the Freedom of Snooping Act to be tightened, Barbara Skinflint, of Human Resources consultancy, Grindstone, said: 'We have access to a vast amount of consumer data, and it would appear that women would take days off to pleasure themselves with Prezzer in mind. This would have to stop.'

Some women would take up to three days off at a time. Employees' representatives have called for pre-emptive action. Hannah Doolittle, of Time Kills Boredom Rules, said.

'The new year is a dull depressing time for many, and exhausted women trying to juggle work and family would take pleasure where they can. As well as crèches, paternity leave, and smoking breaks, employees should provide space for women to take Prezzergasms in privacy should a sex tape be released accidentally. Many women are juggling mobile phones, quite literally. I know I can.'

Have you felt like a Prezzergasm recently? If so, what would your employers think? We would like to hear from you. Tomorrow, The Spoof shows Prescott in an uncompromising situation, and shows those naked torso photos yet again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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