Written by Breeze
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Topics: Tony Blair

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

image for Confirmed sighting of Blair after cats go missing in Yorkshire area
Police marksmen told to shoot on sight

Police have confirmed that Tony Blair is living rough on the Yorkshire Dales and warned individuals not to approach him.

"The Prime Minister is easily frightened and could react violently if he were to be approached by a member of the public," said Inspector Knacker of Scotland Yard. "As we feared, he has reverted to his natural, feral state and as such, he could attack if startled."

Rumours had been rife that Mr Blair was living on the Dales after several cats went missing in the Yorkshire area.

Pensioner, Bill Drummond, saw the PM while out hill walking, "I heard my dog, Pepe, bark at something, at first I thought it was a rabbit but then Mr Blair leapt out in front of me. He stared at me for a moment and then was gone."

When asked how the Prime Minister looked, Mr Drummond replied, "I last saw him bounding into some brush but he really is a magnificent creature. His hair was flowing in the wind and his eyes flashed with untamed defiance."

Some experts have claimed that, even if the Prime Minister is caught, he can never be domesticated and will have to be put down.

"It seems a shame that an animal as beautiful as Tony should be destroyed," said one Labour MP, "He looks so majestic and free."

Experts pointed out, however, that the Prime Minister would threaten other wildlife, such as squirrels or deer, and should be culled.

Police marksmen have been ordered to shoot on sight but if Mr Blair is captured he will be shipped to London Zoo or, alternatively, be stuffed and exhibited at the London Natural History Museum.

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