Fans of Dr Who have been voting with their feet after the popular sci-fi series underwent drastic budget cuts.
Viewer numbers plummeted to less than 46, twenty minutes after the new series aired on Thursday night.
"It was just rubbish," said lifelong fan, Mark Bumstead, 38, "I don't have a girlfriend and spend a lot of my time masturbating, so Dr Who is the highlight of my week. When I watched the first episode, however, I was disgusted. The Doctor was fighting what appeared to be a toilet with a shower head sticking out of it."
Star Trek fan, Bill Nolife, agreed, "The Doctor just looked embarrassed," he said, "And at one point you could see the puppeteers hand sticking out of the bowl."
The BBC however have defended their decision to cut the Dr Who budget to £86.50 and told reporters, "Why should programme makers pay for quality programming when they can get z-list celebrities to cause international incidents for nothing. The licence payers can go fuck themselves. We're loaded."