A man from Peterborough has today been the first to be diagnosed with 'Total Arse Syndrome' (TAS).
The strange syndrome, discovered by professor Jules Rules at the University of Belfryshire, is believed to be closly related to the common cold and it's only down to a small mutation in the wossnames that makes it TAS instead.
Professor Rules told us:
"This subject presented to me with a variety of strange symptoms, some of which were, thinking Eastenders is good, liking Kentucky Fried Chicken and a strange compulsion to eat lava bread.
Taken in isolation any of these symptoms would give cause for concern but a combination of all three showed me that there were even greater forces at work here.
It has been thought for some time now that TAS was actually a condition in its own right and now we have a first positive diagnosis, then it's easy to point to some high profile sufferers. President Bush, David Icke and Robbie Williams to name but a few"
Professor Rules is still carrying out more research but it's thanks to him and his like that we can now begin to understand why some people are such arses. Well done professor and what do you say about Des Lynam?