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Topics: Jade Goody

Monday, 22 January 2007

image for Home Office Steps in To Save Goody Perfume
Stockpiles of 'Goody ' Perfume ready for dispatch

The Home Office today launched a rescue bid to save the Perfume marketed by Jade Goody, of Big Brother infamy.

A spokesman from the Home Office revealed that the scent has been regarded as a potential tool in the fight against so called low level crime.

"An interesting effect occurs when young men aged between 14 and 25 come into contact with the aroma". However it appears to affect only a select number of these young men and the home office are still investigating whether it has some chemical reaction with Lynx deoderant as is thought.

Although it is early days trials are due to begin within the month at a secret facility outside Chatham in Kent.

A senior government scientist remarked, "you need look no further than Jack [Ms. Goody's boyfriend still holed up in the BB house]. Since the eviction of the now prostrate Ms. Goody, there been a marked increase in Jack's levels of functioning, although he is naturally drawn to the less challenging intellect as his apparent overtures to Danielle LLoyd the soon to be a redundant 'WAG',shows. This is likely to be a genetic predisposition that as yet is unlikely to be managed by chemistry."

It is hoped that if the trials are successful, then a form of the perfume may be used to quell the activity of disaffected young men that plague indoor shopping centres, enabling them to be dispersed or rendered ineffectual where public nuisance is concerned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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