Word is out that the popular telly series, The Vicar of Dibley, is being written by a semi-primate secretly housed in the bowels of the BBC. Entertainment writer Sir Andrew Nostars made the amazing discovering while in the BBC basement analyzing old manuscripts for his upcoming book on Masterpiece Theater. The working title is:What Was Stuck Up Alistair Cooke's Arse.
"There I was rummaging through some old papers and I came across a file labeled: Vicar. When I opened it the smell was really revolting. Inside I found Vicar manuscripts.They looked like they had been scrawled with a stick dipped in poo. Sure enough it just took a bit more search for me to find the poor beast. They have it caged up, chained to a desk with nothing to eat but an old banana and some filthy water.
"The tragic creature was hard at work dipping its stick in the bucket of its own excrement. Naturally I reported the travesty to the animal cruelty board and they will be investigating it shortly".
The BBC denied the entire story and said that Sir Andrew should be investigated for animal cruelty. His wife, Lady Lipscum agreed.
The producers of The Vicar series announced this morning that future episodes will involve a Roman Catholic Monsignor. They hope the new character will lead to a new series involving British Catholic clergy called: "Roamin' Boys Will Be Boys".