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Sunday, 21 January 2007

image for Windproof Wheelie-Bins Sighted Over Belgium
Bins sparked international terror alert

Hackney Council's new windproof wheelie bins, tested in wind tunnels, and introduced last year to the tune of £6 million of taxpayer's money, failed their first test in Thursday's major storm. As many as one thousand bins were reported flying in formation over Belgium, sparking an international terror alert across Europe, and huge diplomatic embarrassment at home.

A spokesman for Hackney Council's Refuge and Recycling Initiative, said:

'It appears the very nature of the storm's intensity was such that our new streamlined wheelie-bins were simply unable to cope with the extreme conditions.'

Belgian shopkeeper, Alfred Verdeervonbling, was erecting a sprout stand outside his shop, when his daughter pointed at an unidentified flying object overhead. After alerting police, it was discovered that the object was one of the new million pound Hackney Council wheelie bins. The hi-tec monster touched down in the main square of Ripeblingen narrowly missing a man in a beret who was painting a church.

'I had no idea vat it vas. Eet said Hackerney Council on the side. My god, what vas eet? I vas shocked.'

Calls started coming into Hackney Council from shocked people all over the Netherlands, Belgium, and Northern France.

'We are going to have to travel many miles to collect the wheelie-bins,' said the harassed spokesman. 'It's going to cost the British taxpayer millions.'

It seems that the advanced streamlining designed to reduce the drag that causes bins to topple, wasting millions of hours in lost productivity, has produced the perfect flying machine. Once again, a scheme to save millions of pounds by making refuse collection profitable backfired big time in spite of the millions of pounds spent on it.

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